Perfectionism and the holidays, can they get along? Yes! Perfectionism doesn’t have to be a problem during the holidays at all.
To make this holiday season merrier, no matter how perfectionism is showing up in your life, the first step is to become more aware of how perfectionism can play out during the holiday season. Awareness of how perfectionism shows up during the holidays can change everything!
Let’s dive into all things perfectionism and holidays!
Perfectionism and Holidays: How Perfectionism Shows Up During Holidays
Think back to your recent holiday past. How was it? What feelings come rushing in when you recall how things went from October through January? Are you smiling, or are you already thinking about how you’ll never do that again?
Perfectionism sometimes likes to try to steal the show, and the joy, of every holiday. In fact, the more you care about the holiday, the more perfectionism is likely to intrude.
The first step in telling perfectionism to step back and let this holiday be more about joy than judgment is simply realizing that part of the holiday trouble has to do with perfectionism.
Before trying to stop perfectionistic thinking, let’s become aware that perfectionism is indeed attempting to be a guest at our holiday celebration.
Let’s take a look at how perfectionism shows up during the holidays.
#1 Perfectionism and Holidays: All-or-Nothing
One of the quickest ways to spot perfectionism taking over holiday fun is all-or-nothing thinking. This way of thinking can be about your view of yourself or others, or about things happening.
One of the ways perfectionistic all-or-nothing thinking shows up is with holiday parties or with holiday eating. Perfectionism can say, “It’s the holidays, let’s eat everything,” and any moderation or sticking to healthy eating goes out the window. Or a person will eat one Christmas cookie and think they ruined their eating plan and now binge on cookies the rest of the night.
Another way perfectionism shows itself with all-or-nothing thinking around the holidays is with making plans. What can start as a fun idea, such as having family over for Thanksgiving, can quickly turn into something the person dreads as thoughts of all they want to have happen for their dreamy holiday dinner get interrupted by other people’s wants for food choices, eating times, and after-dinner activities.
A hostess can go from “This is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever!” to “I hate this, and why did I ever want to invite my family over, and I’m never doing this again.”
How Perfectionism Coaching Helps: As your coach, we can totally conquer holiday all-or-nothing thinking! For instance, you can go from being super stressed every time you think about all the holiday cards you gotta send out to being super excited when you send out your holiday cards this year!
#2 Perfectionism and Holidays: Procrastination
Putting things off until the last minute or ultimately not doing them at all can be signs of perfectionism in the form of procrastination.
One of the ways perfectionism sneaks into holidays is with procrasti-learning. Instead of intentionally spending a pre-decided set amount of time on something and then doing it, perfectionism likes to keep us in learning mode and delaying the action of actually doing the thing.
For instance, instead of deciding what to give our loved ones, we will spend one afternoon researching about all our Christmas gifts for the year; we can spend weeks or months learning about the latest toys, researching way more gifts than we would ever buy, and feeling stressed about gift-giving instead of joyful.
Another form of holiday procrastination brought on by perfectionism is procrasti-cleaning. Instead of making the pies ahead of time for Thanksgiving dinner like we planned to do (so that we won’t be so stressed the actual day of Thanksgiving), we decide to clean out the hall closet instead. Cleaning can feel so great at the moment because we are doing something, but it can be keeping us from doing what we really want to check off our to-do list that day.
How Perfectionism Coaching Helps: During our coaching session together, we can coach on what you really want to accomplish this holiday season and then execute that to get the results you want this year.
#3 Perfectionism and Holidays: Overwhelm
Overwhelm. Even the word feels, well, overwhelming, LOL. 🙂
When you think of overwhelm and the holidays, what comes to mind? Packed schedules and hopes that Santa will somehow bring more hours in the day so you can get everything done?
Perfectionism can usher in overwhelm during the holiday season faster than the cheapest TV sales out on Black Friday.
There’s a good chance you can easily think of ways overwhelm occurs around the holidays. Do you know why that is? It’s because perfectionism can foster the idea that overwhelm is expected and just part of the deal. But this doesn’t have to be true. Overwhelm can totally become part of your Christmas past.
How Perfectionism Coaching Helps: Overwhelm is likely fueled by thoughts you’re having about the holidays, and those thoughts likely contain the words “should” or “must” or “have to.” Coaching can completely change your holiday experience this year, so it goes from overwhelming to outstanding.
#4 Perfectionism and Holidays: Burnout
Perfectionism might show up during this holiday season as the reason you are so exhausted.
In your mind, you know rest makes sense, but you feel so guilty resting when there’s so much to do during the holidays.
Also, it’s not the hours you’re spending that causes the burnout, but the energy in those hours. It’s one thing to devote three hours to decorating the tree. It’s another thing to spend three hours decorating a tree and hating every minute of it.
How Perfectionism Coaching Helps: Instead of being tired of the holidays before they even begin this year, coaching can help you completely change not only how you are envisioning this year’s holiday but how you show up all along the way.
#5 Perfectionism and Holidays: Judgement
Perfectionism and judgment are kind of the best of friends. They like being together a lot. How do you think these two show up during the holidays?
While you’ll always have some judgment, you don’t have to let it inform your choices.
The way your Christmas lights are hung doesn’t have to do with you as a person. You can appreciate the Christmas cookies made by your co-worker without getting upset at your own perceived lack of baking skills. Thinking your uncle will say stupid things at the party doesn’t mean you can’t love him.
How Perfectionism Coaching Helps: During our coaching session together, we can begin to discover and shift the judgments you have about the holidays, how people you love handle the holidays, and how you handle those people.
Related: Ready to get coached on everything perfectionism and holidays? Join now!
#6 Perfectionism and Holidays: Thankfulness and Celebration
Thanksgiving sometimes lacks thankfulness, and Christmas sometimes isn’t that cheery, and the reasons might have to do with perfectionism trying to take over the holiday fun.
When we focus on how things aren’t right, how they didn’t go as planned, and what should have happened instead, gratitude and fun are hard to find.
What if you decided that no matter what happened, or didn’t happen, this holiday season, that it was all great? And what if you really meant it?
How Perfectionism Coaching Helps: I’ll get right to it, fun, encouragement, laughter, and celebration are my strengths, and it would be my joy to help you experience more of them this holiday season! Even just one 20 minute coaching session could set you up for the merriest holiday season you’ve ever had!
Now that you are aware of perfectionism and how it can easily make its way into any holiday celebration, you can be on the lookout for it and ready to be in charge.
Perfectionism doesn’t have to be a problem, and you can create the holiday season you want this year, no matter what is going on with the perfectionistic thoughts in your mind. Helping people take control of perfectionism instead of letting it ruin holiday cheer is kinda my specialty.
If you’d like help with your perfectionism this holiday season, contact me, and let’s chat! You can DM me on Instagram if you like to hang out there. 🙂
Excited about the idea of getting coached? Want to get coaching on perfectionism and learn how to use it to your advantage? Start with this practical guide that I created for you to get some quick wins with perfectionism, and let me know when you want to start coaching!